Jokes!

There was once a young prince who lived in a faraway land who was very much loved by his parents. The king and queen would take him to the circus and feed him all the cakes and pies he wanted. When the prince got a little older, however, he started to rebel.He hung around with the wrong subjects and would stray far from the castle on his own. One day, he was ambushed by and evil warlockin the forest who changed him into a fool. The courtiers made fun of him and his parents sent him to exile.What's the moral of the story? Heir today, Goon tommorrow.

A bully is picking on a boy's sister. The boy runs up and pushes the bully away, saying, "Stop picking on my sister - That's my job!"

Jordan was playing in the schoolyard when he fell down and broke his right arm. Gail came running toward him with a big smile on his face. "Wow," he said, "You're so lucky. Now you won't have to do any exams." Jordan replied, "Actually I'm really unlucky." Gail asked, "What makes you say that?" Jordan moaned, "I'm left-handed! I meant to fall on my other arm."

A little girl was counting to 10 for her math teacher."One,two,three," she said,"four five,six,seven,eight,ten!" Her math teacher asked,"Did you forget something? What happened to nine?" The little girl replied, "No. seven eight nine."

A magician has been working on a cruise ship doing the same act for many years. The audiences like him, and they change often enough that he doesn't have to worry about finding new tricks. But the captain's parrot sits in the back row and watches him night after night, year after year. After a while, the parrot figures out how the tricks work and starts giving the secrets away. When the magician makes a bouquet of flowers disappear, for instance, the parrot squawks, "Behind his back! Behind his back!" Well, the Magician gets really annoyed at this, but he doesn't know what to do, since the parrot belongs to the captain. One day, the ship springs a leak and sinks. The magician manages to hold onto a plank of wood and floats on it. The parrot flies over and sits on the other end. They drift and drift for 3 days without speaking. On the morning of the 4th day, the parrot looks over at the magician and says,"Okay, I give up. Where did you hide the ship?"

A guy opens his front door one morning to find a snail sitting on his doorstep. The guy swings his leg back and kicks the snail all the way down the walk way in front of the house. 2 years later, the doorbell rings. When the man answers the door, he looks down and there is the snail, who asks, "What was that all about?"

A man walks into a diner carrying a dog under his arm.He puts the dog on the counter and announces that the dog can talk. The man says he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't. The head cook quickly takes the bet,and the dog's owner looks at the dog and asked, "What is the thing on top of this building that keeps the rain out?" The dog answers, "Roof." The cook says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying." The dog owner says, "Double or nothing, and I'll ask him something else." The cook agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest baseball player ever?" The dog answers with a muffled, "Ruth." With that, the cook picks them both up and tosses them out on the street. As they bounce on the sidewald in front of the diner, the dog looks at his owner and says, "Dimaggo?"

While walking down the street, a man saw a sign that said: TALKING DOG FOR SALE, $10. The man couldn't believe his ears when the dog said, "Please buy me. I'm a great dog. I played professional football. I was even nominated most valuble player." The man gasped, "That dog really does talk! Why in the world do you want to sell him for only 10 dollars?" The dog's owner said,"He never played professional football, and I can't stand liars."

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood, and parked himself on the roof of he cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began asking him where he got it. He told them to knock it off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in. "Ok, follow me." he said, and flew out with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through the valley they went, across a river, and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the bats excitedly milled around him. "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "Yes,yes!" the bats screamed in frenzy. "Good," said the first bat, "because I didn't!"